Time's up....for now

At the cusp of change the force pulling my heart into the oblivion of the opportunistic future surrounding me are the circumstances brought forth by my choice. Those myriad complexities of choices spanning years, comprise of moments daily changing. Determined by a perspective of value or insignificance, all change purposefully resulted in this place: a moment where I can no longer excuse my behavior, place blame on past attitudes and wrongs done against me, or live in blissfully blustering ignorance of internal motivations. I have looked into the complexity of my soul and am left both mystified and disgusted by the image. 

 I am dramatically exploring the pride of successful motivation, as I muse over failure in a venture of newness. I desire to overcome in this arena simply for the purpose of being able to express the ability to conquer any presenting challenge, even though the prospect of succeeding fuels no real passion into my soul. Change includes some dutiful labor for the purpose of fueling the passions of this heart bursting forth in happy genuine wholeness. Living in of the truth that my soul's deepest failings also exist as the foundation of strength from which life and passion is drawn out of in order to face circumstances. 

 Choice is pulling me in varying directions and facilitating a new drama for the day. My perspective creating a sense of urgency of the direction decided in this moment, yet my soul pleads for a more simplified pondering of all choices having equal weight and value for the present part of journeying towards being whole, unclouded by the ideas that steal hopes: would, could, should, and what if. In this moment I am going to change without considering clouding doubts of irreversible consequence. 

 My soul is trustworthy. This moment contains an important choice, and the next one will be equally valuable, yet my priority remains the health of my whole self, rather than the fullness of my success portfolio. 

 Times up.... 

I choose failure if it leads to wholeness.


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